Men!
08/05/09 10:47 Filed in: Humour
Are you still in the honeymoon period or have his true colours now been revealed?
Do you live with a Victor Mildrew? Is it me or do men get grumpier as they get older? I’m sure when I met my partner, some 5 or so years ago, he was a lot happier. So is that me or the kids? Have we made him complain so much about things? Or was it just that in the early days he was too much in love, too besotted to say anything? “He can’t be that bad” you say. “What does he complain about?” you may ask. He seems to get onto his soap box for quite a few things. For example;
One - Driving, especially on motorways. One of his pet hates is middle lane hoggers. Now we all know these are the drivers who are either too much in their own little world to notice they are still in the middle lane when there’s nobody on the inside, or they are too scared to move lanes. The latter group seem to make a beeline for the middle lane as soon as they get onto the motorway and stay there until they need to get off. Which they tend to either prepare for about 5 miles in advance of the exit, or they almost leave it too late and have to push in at the last minute, only to find there’s a big lorry in their way and then it just confirms their fear of swapping lanes. Sorry listen who’s now on her soapbox
Nobody who isn’t one of these creatures likes them, but does he have to go on about them quite so much? As we’re driving along all you can hear is him muttering comments “move over” “hello there’s three lanes you know” “wakey wakey we want to get past” etc. Wo betide me if I make the mistake of asking him what he’s talking about because then I get a torrent of complaints, winges and moans about driving in Britain, how it is so much better on French motorways and how he wishes the police would arrest these people.Or he wishes he had a big fork lift truck mechanism on the front of his car so he could just move them out of the way.
Also on the subject of driving why do they not like to ask for directions? Even with the modern technology of Sat Nav and iphone’s with Google maps it is still possible to discover you can’t quite locate the place you want. A short conversation with a passerby, (if they’re walking they are more likely to be local), could solve the mystery in minutes. “No” he always responds when I ask those immortal words of “Should I ask someone”. Is it an insult to their manhood to admit they may need help? Or have they forgotten how to socialise? Sorry I’m off again- but it is my rant Still lets get back on track.
Two - Manchester United. He’s a Liverpool supporter you see so any other team should be treated with disdain, but Manchester United he hates with a vengeance. If Manchester United win a match, especially if its one that may jeopardise Liverpools chances, then we get comments regarding his desire for the players to injure themselves, etc., etc. (Yes, I’m being very polite here, sparing you all of the details!).
He doesn’t actually go to any matches, (apparently its nigh on impossible to get tickets to watch Liverpool). He hasn’t even demanded Sky or Sentanta sports, although he does watch all of his teams on the TV when they’re on terrestrial. Now thats something he never did when we first met! He claimed he preferred to play football rather than watch it. Now when I remind him of that he says it was because Liverpool weren’t doing too well at the time and he can’t play now as he has no team to play with. Has he tried to find a local one? Don’t be silly! If his beloved Liverpool loses we get moans and groans and comments about the Referee making bad decisions. Why is it that all blokes talk as if they could be fantastic players, refs or managers if only they had been given the chance? I thought sport, watching or playing, was supposed to be enjoyable. I don’t think I’ll ever understand the stress levels it creates.
Three - The Authorities. Or more specifically anybody in, or perceived to be in, authority. He doesn’t have a very high opinion of the government, any government. He doesn’t believe doctors, or teachers, know best. I’m not sure if this is because he believes he knows best instead. Although he’ll often talk as if he does, until challenged, then he will admit he may not be right. How do men in particular seem to get that self confidence to do that? Is it just me? Or are other women like me where I only speak when I’m fairly confident I know what I’m talking about? Sorry digressing again - Ronnie Corbett eat your heart out!
So yes the authorities, oh and the media. I’m not sure why he watches the news unless it is so he can vent his frustrations from the day by voicing his opinion on every single news item. I suppose part of the problem may be that he always knows what the television news is going to be about. He’s already read every story on the web, way before the programme is aired. So he’s had time to formulate an opinion on the state of the economy, that latest wars or disasters to strike abroad and of course any sports news. I wouldn’t mind but most of the time he isn’t really watching it anyway. He’s sat with a laptop on his knee looking at gadget stuff, or sport, or the news! Talk about information overload. Maybe thats why he’s so grumpy, he gets to read too much gloom and doom all day, every day?
Despite all of this do I still love him? Of course I do. After all I’m not perfect either, one read of these blogs shows that. Would I change him? No, Yes, Well maybe just a little. It would be nice if he channelled some of that opinion and passion into a bit more DIY on the house. The trouble is persuading him to do that without him knowing about it. I’ll let you know how I get on.
One - Driving, especially on motorways. One of his pet hates is middle lane hoggers. Now we all know these are the drivers who are either too much in their own little world to notice they are still in the middle lane when there’s nobody on the inside, or they are too scared to move lanes. The latter group seem to make a beeline for the middle lane as soon as they get onto the motorway and stay there until they need to get off. Which they tend to either prepare for about 5 miles in advance of the exit, or they almost leave it too late and have to push in at the last minute, only to find there’s a big lorry in their way and then it just confirms their fear of swapping lanes. Sorry listen who’s now on her soapbox
Nobody who isn’t one of these creatures likes them, but does he have to go on about them quite so much? As we’re driving along all you can hear is him muttering comments “move over” “hello there’s three lanes you know” “wakey wakey we want to get past” etc. Wo betide me if I make the mistake of asking him what he’s talking about because then I get a torrent of complaints, winges and moans about driving in Britain, how it is so much better on French motorways and how he wishes the police would arrest these people.Or he wishes he had a big fork lift truck mechanism on the front of his car so he could just move them out of the way.
Also on the subject of driving why do they not like to ask for directions? Even with the modern technology of Sat Nav and iphone’s with Google maps it is still possible to discover you can’t quite locate the place you want. A short conversation with a passerby, (if they’re walking they are more likely to be local), could solve the mystery in minutes. “No” he always responds when I ask those immortal words of “Should I ask someone”. Is it an insult to their manhood to admit they may need help? Or have they forgotten how to socialise? Sorry I’m off again- but it is my rant
Still lets get back on track.Two - Manchester United. He’s a Liverpool supporter you see so any other team should be treated with disdain, but Manchester United he hates with a vengeance. If Manchester United win a match, especially if its one that may jeopardise Liverpools chances, then we get comments regarding his desire for the players to injure themselves, etc., etc. (Yes, I’m being very polite here, sparing you all of the details!).
He doesn’t actually go to any matches, (apparently its nigh on impossible to get tickets to watch Liverpool). He hasn’t even demanded Sky or Sentanta sports, although he does watch all of his teams on the TV when they’re on terrestrial. Now thats something he never did when we first met! He claimed he preferred to play football rather than watch it. Now when I remind him of that he says it was because Liverpool weren’t doing too well at the time and he can’t play now as he has no team to play with. Has he tried to find a local one? Don’t be silly! If his beloved Liverpool loses we get moans and groans and comments about the Referee making bad decisions. Why is it that all blokes talk as if they could be fantastic players, refs or managers if only they had been given the chance? I thought sport, watching or playing, was supposed to be enjoyable. I don’t think I’ll ever understand the stress levels it creates.
Three - The Authorities. Or more specifically anybody in, or perceived to be in, authority. He doesn’t have a very high opinion of the government, any government. He doesn’t believe doctors, or teachers, know best. I’m not sure if this is because he believes he knows best instead. Although he’ll often talk as if he does, until challenged, then he will admit he may not be right. How do men in particular seem to get that self confidence to do that? Is it just me? Or are other women like me where I only speak when I’m fairly confident I know what I’m talking about? Sorry digressing again - Ronnie Corbett eat your heart out!
So yes the authorities, oh and the media. I’m not sure why he watches the news unless it is so he can vent his frustrations from the day by voicing his opinion on every single news item. I suppose part of the problem may be that he always knows what the television news is going to be about. He’s already read every story on the web, way before the programme is aired. So he’s had time to formulate an opinion on the state of the economy, that latest wars or disasters to strike abroad and of course any sports news. I wouldn’t mind but most of the time he isn’t really watching it anyway. He’s sat with a laptop on his knee looking at gadget stuff, or sport, or the news! Talk about information overload. Maybe thats why he’s so grumpy, he gets to read too much gloom and doom all day, every day?
Despite all of this do I still love him? Of course I do. After all I’m not perfect either, one read of these blogs shows that. Would I change him? No, Yes, Well maybe just a little. It would be nice if he channelled some of that opinion and passion into a bit more DIY on the house. The trouble is persuading him to do that without him knowing about it. I’ll let you know how I get on
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