Water Fear
04/08/09 11:12 Filed in: Personal
Can you swim? There is no age limit on learning in fact it can be an advantage as long as you don’t let embarrassment stop you.
I read a blog recently about a Mum who was struggling to get her young child to enjoy the water and learn to swim. I wrote a comment regarding my own experience and decided I should dedicate a blog to it in the hope that others in a similar situation may be comforted.
My earliest recollections of baths at home were a nightmare. I can remember my Mum, and sometimes my Dad as well, struggling to wash my hair. You see I absolutely hated the sensation of the water running down my face. That coupled with the possible sting of the shampoo in my eyes meant I would scream and struggle every bath time. I can remember shouting out “No”, “Don’t”, “Please stop” every time the water flowed. It must have been horrible for my Mum. Which is why she sometimes felt the need to employ the help of my dad or eldest sister as well.
In an attempt to make things easier my mum tried using just a sponge to wet my hair and rinse off any shampoo, instead of the customary jug. She even resorted to putting me in a shampoo hair and face shield, (pictured below). Hoping that would stop enough of the water to make me sit still. It didn’t work. It may have stopped the bulk of the water but it didn’t stop me cowering and cringing as the water fell and, probably because of all of the struggling, it didn’t stop the water seeping through the gaps onto my face. I must have looked great with my shampoo shield on screaming my head off!
As I got a bit older I was trusted to wash my hair myself. I think this was a bit of a turning point for me. The ability for me to control the direction and flow of the water made all the difference. I’m not saying I was good at washing my hair myself. I am sure the top and front part of my hair was nowhere near as clean as the rest, or still held residues of shampoo. In order to avoid getting the water on my face I would ensure the flow stopped well short of the dreaded area. I can remember lying back in the bath and putting my head back just enough to get the water on top of my head but never too far that it encroached onto skin. But at least the screaming had stopped.
When the time came for me to go swimming with the school I was dreading it. Just because I was no longer fighting against baths didn’t mean the fear had gone. Just that I could stop the water going where it scared me. My parents were never big on swimming. My Dad had problems with his ears and hearing which prevented him from going, and my Mum was not interested in any sporty activity. I can remember trying to persuade my Mum to write notes preventing me from having to go and even wishing I could get a Verucca so I would be exempt. But I still had to attend some sessions. My memories are quite vague. I can remember using arm bands all the time, even though at about eleven years of age I felt too old for them. Although the teacher tried to get me to put my face in the water they never forced the situation so I managed to get away with never doing it.
As I grew older the school swimming trips stopped and I avoided any contact with swimming baths. I didn’t go with my friends as I knew I would be too embarrassed to wear arm bands and would find it too awkward to stay in the shallow end whilst they were all having fun swimming and jumping in. Besides which the over zealous kids might splash me or knock me off balance and it would be awful to be crying in a public baths at that age.
It all changed when I got much older, some time in my late twenties, or early thirties. I met a man who had also learnt to swim late in life and was now very confident in the water. His problem had not been a fear of water, but health problems, and other interests had been his barriers. But once he had gained an interest in Scuba Diving he had been determined to improve his ability so he could follow this new hobby. A dispute with some members of the club he was in pushed him and some friends to set up their own snorkeling club. They hired a school swimming baths for an hour every Sunday and as our relationship formed I was encouraged to join them. The lack of people in the water at the same time (there was never more than 6 other people in the water), and the desire to please in a new relationship was a great combination. Gradually, week by week, I pushed myself to take a bit more risk, until I could eventually, in my own time, and completely under my control, put my head under the water.
I felt so proud and was encouraged to keep going. It was when I progressed into trying snorkeling gear that I really came on leaps and bounds. The ability to wear a mask when I put my face near the water was for me the best confidence builder I could have. The mask meant I didn’t have to worry about being splashed, or to some extent ducked under, because the water wasn’t touching my face. I still preferred all submersion to be under my control but if it wasn’t at least I didn’t completely freak out. I moved onto doing Scuba Diving and enjoyed some great holidays. I learned to tread water so that depth was not an issue and more importantly to relax.
To this day I am not a great swimmer, but the continuous weeks in the pool meant I have more confidence than I would have thought possible. I still won’t jump in, go on water slides or play around if it means I may go under the water, because I still don’t like it without a mask. But I will do things occasionally just to prove to myself that I still can. When I led my current partner and our Son out to the open sea to snorkel on holiday it was difficult to recognise that little girl who was so afraid of having a bath. It shows that its never too late to learn.
My earliest recollections of baths at home were a nightmare. I can remember my Mum, and sometimes my Dad as well, struggling to wash my hair. You see I absolutely hated the sensation of the water running down my face. That coupled with the possible sting of the shampoo in my eyes meant I would scream and struggle every bath time. I can remember shouting out “No”, “Don’t”, “Please stop” every time the water flowed. It must have been horrible for my Mum. Which is why she sometimes felt the need to employ the help of my dad or eldest sister as well.
In an attempt to make things easier my mum tried using just a sponge to wet my hair and rinse off any shampoo, instead of the customary jug. She even resorted to putting me in a shampoo hair and face shield, (pictured below). Hoping that would stop enough of the water to make me sit still. It didn’t work. It may have stopped the bulk of the water but it didn’t stop me cowering and cringing as the water fell and, probably because of all of the struggling, it didn’t stop the water seeping through the gaps onto my face. I must have looked great with my shampoo shield on screaming my head off!
As I got a bit older I was trusted to wash my hair myself. I think this was a bit of a turning point for me. The ability for me to control the direction and flow of the water made all the difference. I’m not saying I was good at washing my hair myself. I am sure the top and front part of my hair was nowhere near as clean as the rest, or still held residues of shampoo. In order to avoid getting the water on my face I would ensure the flow stopped well short of the dreaded area. I can remember lying back in the bath and putting my head back just enough to get the water on top of my head but never too far that it encroached onto skin. But at least the screaming had stopped.
When the time came for me to go swimming with the school I was dreading it. Just because I was no longer fighting against baths didn’t mean the fear had gone. Just that I could stop the water going where it scared me. My parents were never big on swimming. My Dad had problems with his ears and hearing which prevented him from going, and my Mum was not interested in any sporty activity. I can remember trying to persuade my Mum to write notes preventing me from having to go and even wishing I could get a Verucca so I would be exempt. But I still had to attend some sessions. My memories are quite vague. I can remember using arm bands all the time, even though at about eleven years of age I felt too old for them. Although the teacher tried to get me to put my face in the water they never forced the situation so I managed to get away with never doing it.
As I grew older the school swimming trips stopped and I avoided any contact with swimming baths. I didn’t go with my friends as I knew I would be too embarrassed to wear arm bands and would find it too awkward to stay in the shallow end whilst they were all having fun swimming and jumping in. Besides which the over zealous kids might splash me or knock me off balance and it would be awful to be crying in a public baths at that age.
It all changed when I got much older, some time in my late twenties, or early thirties. I met a man who had also learnt to swim late in life and was now very confident in the water. His problem had not been a fear of water, but health problems, and other interests had been his barriers. But once he had gained an interest in Scuba Diving he had been determined to improve his ability so he could follow this new hobby. A dispute with some members of the club he was in pushed him and some friends to set up their own snorkeling club. They hired a school swimming baths for an hour every Sunday and as our relationship formed I was encouraged to join them. The lack of people in the water at the same time (there was never more than 6 other people in the water), and the desire to please in a new relationship was a great combination. Gradually, week by week, I pushed myself to take a bit more risk, until I could eventually, in my own time, and completely under my control, put my head under the water.
I felt so proud and was encouraged to keep going. It was when I progressed into trying snorkeling gear that I really came on leaps and bounds. The ability to wear a mask when I put my face near the water was for me the best confidence builder I could have. The mask meant I didn’t have to worry about being splashed, or to some extent ducked under, because the water wasn’t touching my face. I still preferred all submersion to be under my control but if it wasn’t at least I didn’t completely freak out. I moved onto doing Scuba Diving and enjoyed some great holidays. I learned to tread water so that depth was not an issue and more importantly to relax.
To this day I am not a great swimmer, but the continuous weeks in the pool meant I have more confidence than I would have thought possible. I still won’t jump in, go on water slides or play around if it means I may go under the water, because I still don’t like it without a mask. But I will do things occasionally just to prove to myself that I still can. When I led my current partner and our Son out to the open sea to snorkel on holiday it was difficult to recognise that little girl who was so afraid of having a bath. It shows that its never too late to learn.
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