Time Trials
07/05/09 16:39 Filed in: Humour
What tricks do you use in an attempt to get there on time?
“Get a move on or we’re going to be late”. Do you find yourself saying these words far more than you wish? Is it since I’ve had children that I’m nearly always late for things, or is that just a handy excuse? Is it hereditary, or learnt behaviour? Will my children always be late for things because of the way me and my partner are? Or will they learn from our mistakes and be far more organised and time knowledgeable? I hope the latter for the sake of their stress levels in the future.
I find that I start off with plenty of time, or at least I think I have, which is my downfall, because I then don’t feel like I have to rush. I can just take it easy, getting my stuff together/getting out of bed/showering, at my own pace. Then at some point during this nice leisurely activity I look at the clock and my mood completely changes, the grizzly bear arrives, (cue the scary music!).
If I’m being clever I’ve already mentally calculated the time I need to leave by to get to wherever I’m going... The majority of the time I haven’t and this is the first step of the process. On really bad days my mental calculation determines that I should have already left despite the fact that I’m only half dressed with my hair wrapped in a towel. (One of these days I’m sure I’m going to leave the house with a towel wrapped round my head looking like I think I should be in an expensive salon, or that I’ve got something to hide, other than my knots and tangles and split ends!). If I’m lucky my calculation is actually correct and I don’t do a double take several minutes later only to find that I should have already left.
Once I’ve determined how long I’ve got left, and the panic is rising, the grumpy voice comes. This is aimed either at the kids, or my other half. However anyone who has children knows you just can’t rush them. They seem to work on inverse time, the more you try to rush them the slower they go, or at least that’s true of my five year old. My partner isn’t much better. Why does he always insist on giving me hugs and kisses when I’ve got the least time to get ready, or leave the house? It’s all very nice, at any other time, but when I’m in a hurry and the growling bear has appeared it just results in winding me up even more.
Then when I finally do leave the house I find I’m having to cross my fingers (not very safe when you’re driving), all the way to my destination. This is in the vain hope that crossing them can actually control the traffic lights, and the number of learner or otherwise slow drivers. Why do you always seem to get heavier or slower traffic when you’re in a hurry – is it just perception, or is someone looking down and having a good laugh? I’ve even got my daughter doing the crossed fingers now on the way to school, or wherever I’m ferrying her to. She’s going to grow up thinking its normal to be rushing round, then just cross your fingers as you drive, and everything should be OK. When I should be teaching her to get ready in plenty of time and be punctual for everything, what a bad mother I am.
Still at least people know me by now and know what to expect. Although sometimes that makes me even more annoyed with myself, as I’d like to be able to prove them wrong, instead of proving them right every time. I was even late the first day I went to pick my youngest up from nursery. I left work in what I thought was enough time, only to find the traffic monster was out and the crossed fingers couldn’t make it go away. It was only by about 5 minutes, but that was 5 minutes later than they closed, so the staff weren't very happy. They did have a sure way of making sure I didn’t do it again though – a £5 charge for every 15 minutes late. Maybe that’s the answer; get all my friends, relatives, and colleagues etc to charge me every time I’m late. Careful with money as I am (My Dad was what you might call stingy, and some of it wore off!) it would make me the time management queen. Then again maybe I shouldn’t suggest it – it’s a bit too risky!
Oh sugar! (Cor that was polite, but I don’t want to insult any potential readers). I’m late picking up my little one from nursery, and I’m dressed in my, very unflattering, aerobics shorts and top, and the door needs locking, and I need to turn the music off, and put the coats and umbrella’s in the car…… Here come the crossed fingers again! Got to go.
I find that I start off with plenty of time, or at least I think I have, which is my downfall, because I then don’t feel like I have to rush. I can just take it easy, getting my stuff together/getting out of bed/showering, at my own pace. Then at some point during this nice leisurely activity I look at the clock and my mood completely changes, the grizzly bear arrives, (cue the scary music!).
If I’m being clever I’ve already mentally calculated the time I need to leave by to get to wherever I’m going... The majority of the time I haven’t and this is the first step of the process. On really bad days my mental calculation determines that I should have already left despite the fact that I’m only half dressed with my hair wrapped in a towel. (One of these days I’m sure I’m going to leave the house with a towel wrapped round my head looking like I think I should be in an expensive salon, or that I’ve got something to hide, other than my knots and tangles and split ends!). If I’m lucky my calculation is actually correct and I don’t do a double take several minutes later only to find that I should have already left.
Once I’ve determined how long I’ve got left, and the panic is rising, the grumpy voice comes. This is aimed either at the kids, or my other half. However anyone who has children knows you just can’t rush them. They seem to work on inverse time, the more you try to rush them the slower they go, or at least that’s true of my five year old. My partner isn’t much better. Why does he always insist on giving me hugs and kisses when I’ve got the least time to get ready, or leave the house? It’s all very nice, at any other time, but when I’m in a hurry and the growling bear has appeared it just results in winding me up even more.
Then when I finally do leave the house I find I’m having to cross my fingers (not very safe when you’re driving), all the way to my destination. This is in the vain hope that crossing them can actually control the traffic lights, and the number of learner or otherwise slow drivers. Why do you always seem to get heavier or slower traffic when you’re in a hurry – is it just perception, or is someone looking down and having a good laugh? I’ve even got my daughter doing the crossed fingers now on the way to school, or wherever I’m ferrying her to. She’s going to grow up thinking its normal to be rushing round, then just cross your fingers as you drive, and everything should be OK. When I should be teaching her to get ready in plenty of time and be punctual for everything, what a bad mother I am.
Still at least people know me by now and know what to expect. Although sometimes that makes me even more annoyed with myself, as I’d like to be able to prove them wrong, instead of proving them right every time. I was even late the first day I went to pick my youngest up from nursery. I left work in what I thought was enough time, only to find the traffic monster was out and the crossed fingers couldn’t make it go away. It was only by about 5 minutes, but that was 5 minutes later than they closed, so the staff weren't very happy. They did have a sure way of making sure I didn’t do it again though – a £5 charge for every 15 minutes late. Maybe that’s the answer; get all my friends, relatives, and colleagues etc to charge me every time I’m late. Careful with money as I am (My Dad was what you might call stingy, and some of it wore off!) it would make me the time management queen. Then again maybe I shouldn’t suggest it – it’s a bit too risky!
Oh sugar! (Cor that was polite, but I don’t want to insult any potential readers). I’m late picking up my little one from nursery, and I’m dressed in my, very unflattering, aerobics shorts and top, and the door needs locking, and I need to turn the music off, and put the coats and umbrella’s in the car…… Here come the crossed fingers again! Got to go.
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