Childcare Dilemma
Who will look after your children if you go back to work?
How have you tackled the dilemma of childcare? Are you lucky enough to have relatives you can trust, who are able and who live close by? Is it for little or no cost? I had no such luck. Like so many parents who decide to return to work I had to decide between a child minder and private nursery.
I live quite a distance away from my family. When my first daughter was born her Dads parents lived close by, but were not in good enough health to look after my daughter full time. The decision was almost made for me for my first child. She went to a child minder but there were some different circumstances. I knew the childminder even before my daughter was born, she was the sister of a friend. So it was almost understood without discussion that my daughter would go to her. Knowing the child minder made it much easier to leave my daughter with her because I already knew she was great with kids. However the friendship did cause some issues later on so that made me a little reluctant to go down the child minder route for my second child. I was limited in the available child minders within my area anyway. So it has been private nursery for daughter number two.
Anyway, as is normally the case, both of my girls were different personalties, even from an early age. My eldest daughter was very sociable and didn’t mind who held her, talked to her and played with her. She was relatively quiet and easy going. My youngest in contrast was shy. She didn’t like new people around her and If she wasn’t happy she would cry so vehemently people would think she was in pain. In view of this some people may question my decisions and say that the first child would fit better in a nursery environment, where there are lots of children. Whereas the second child would suit the more one to one attention of a child minder. However as I’ve already stated I didn’t have a lot of choice in either placement at the time of making the decisions.
So which was has fared the best? Well, as I have said they were different personalities so it is a little difficult to judge, but its also a typical mothers reaction to make comparisons. The eldest daughter for quite a while only had boys to play with at the child minders. This wasn’t a problem and I’m by no means suggesting that a girl playing just with boys creates any issues. However there weren’t many children there and two of the boys, increasing to four after school hours, were the child minders own children. I don’t believe she treated any of the children any differently whether they were her own or not. However I do wonder whether the fact that her day was dominated by her own children encouraged her to spend more time doing domestic duties than she would have normally. Don’t get me wrong she didn’t have the children doing the dusting and hoovering, (although I wouldn’t mind that being drummed into my daughter a little!), but she did take them shopping with her if she needed anything. Now I believe that going shopping can be a good learning tool for a little one as they can get to learn about different foods, their feel, texture, smell and names. However I could take my daughter myself on a weekend to do that. Whilst she was shopping or waiting for the child minders children’s tea to be prepared she wasn’t learning her letters or numbers or anything else which could prepare her for school life. Is that why she struggles a little with her school work now, or would she have been like that anyway? She has always been very good at speech but not so good academically. Should I have supplemented the child minders time by teaching my daughter myself? Probably, but when you work all week you want to spend the out of work time playing in the park or relaxing (as well as getting the shopping done), not sitting getting frustrated whilst you try to teach them the names of different colours.
The youngest daughter has been forced to come out of her shell a little. I’ve often heard people say that because a child is quiet and shy they will get overlooked at nursery. The louder, naughtier children will get all of the attention. With nurseries using incentives schemes such as stickers for being good and time out in another room for being bad I don’t think that is the case. She is still shy with strangers but at least she doesn’t holler each time a new staff member talks to her at nursery anymore. She seems to have been quicker at picking up colours and counting and letters. Is that because she is regularly exposed to them at nursery or is she just naturally picking up those areas quicker? Does it mean she will be more academic? It is too early to tell. I do believe that regardless of her academic ability, she will be well equipped to handle the different personalities that she will meet as she grows up. I’m not convinced she would have had the opportunity to establish the same understanding and acceptance of others had she been with a more limited group of children at a child minders, or with just me at home. Given her natural shyness I think she would struggle more had she not endured those first stranger encounters at an early age. As many people have said one of the best things you can pass onto your child is self confidence so, contrary to a lot of peoples thinking, I believe that if you have a quiet shy child get them amongst other children early on, whether it is at a nursery or playgroup.
So which is best you shout? Am I the right person to judge? Wouldn’t I need to have ten or twenty children to place to know for sure? All I can say is that you should look at yourselves and what fits in with your way of life. Child minders tend to be a bit more flexible on drop off and pick up times than nursery. You should also look at your child and determine what would suit them best. Lastly you should also look honestly at what you think you can give your outside of their normal day to bring out the best in them. Those areas you believe you would struggle in should be met by the choice that you make whether that be socialising, education or simply lots of attention. These three areas will hopefully make a decision easier. Personally I’m just glad both of my daughters are happy, well adjusted children. What more could a parent ask for? :)
I live quite a distance away from my family. When my first daughter was born her Dads parents lived close by, but were not in good enough health to look after my daughter full time. The decision was almost made for me for my first child. She went to a child minder but there were some different circumstances. I knew the childminder even before my daughter was born, she was the sister of a friend. So it was almost understood without discussion that my daughter would go to her. Knowing the child minder made it much easier to leave my daughter with her because I already knew she was great with kids. However the friendship did cause some issues later on so that made me a little reluctant to go down the child minder route for my second child. I was limited in the available child minders within my area anyway. So it has been private nursery for daughter number two.
Anyway, as is normally the case, both of my girls were different personalties, even from an early age. My eldest daughter was very sociable and didn’t mind who held her, talked to her and played with her. She was relatively quiet and easy going. My youngest in contrast was shy. She didn’t like new people around her and If she wasn’t happy she would cry so vehemently people would think she was in pain. In view of this some people may question my decisions and say that the first child would fit better in a nursery environment, where there are lots of children. Whereas the second child would suit the more one to one attention of a child minder. However as I’ve already stated I didn’t have a lot of choice in either placement at the time of making the decisions.
So which was has fared the best? Well, as I have said they were different personalities so it is a little difficult to judge, but its also a typical mothers reaction to make comparisons. The eldest daughter for quite a while only had boys to play with at the child minders. This wasn’t a problem and I’m by no means suggesting that a girl playing just with boys creates any issues. However there weren’t many children there and two of the boys, increasing to four after school hours, were the child minders own children. I don’t believe she treated any of the children any differently whether they were her own or not. However I do wonder whether the fact that her day was dominated by her own children encouraged her to spend more time doing domestic duties than she would have normally. Don’t get me wrong she didn’t have the children doing the dusting and hoovering, (although I wouldn’t mind that being drummed into my daughter a little!), but she did take them shopping with her if she needed anything. Now I believe that going shopping can be a good learning tool for a little one as they can get to learn about different foods, their feel, texture, smell and names. However I could take my daughter myself on a weekend to do that. Whilst she was shopping or waiting for the child minders children’s tea to be prepared she wasn’t learning her letters or numbers or anything else which could prepare her for school life. Is that why she struggles a little with her school work now, or would she have been like that anyway? She has always been very good at speech but not so good academically. Should I have supplemented the child minders time by teaching my daughter myself? Probably, but when you work all week you want to spend the out of work time playing in the park or relaxing (as well as getting the shopping done), not sitting getting frustrated whilst you try to teach them the names of different colours.
The youngest daughter has been forced to come out of her shell a little. I’ve often heard people say that because a child is quiet and shy they will get overlooked at nursery. The louder, naughtier children will get all of the attention. With nurseries using incentives schemes such as stickers for being good and time out in another room for being bad I don’t think that is the case. She is still shy with strangers but at least she doesn’t holler each time a new staff member talks to her at nursery anymore. She seems to have been quicker at picking up colours and counting and letters. Is that because she is regularly exposed to them at nursery or is she just naturally picking up those areas quicker? Does it mean she will be more academic? It is too early to tell. I do believe that regardless of her academic ability, she will be well equipped to handle the different personalities that she will meet as she grows up. I’m not convinced she would have had the opportunity to establish the same understanding and acceptance of others had she been with a more limited group of children at a child minders, or with just me at home. Given her natural shyness I think she would struggle more had she not endured those first stranger encounters at an early age. As many people have said one of the best things you can pass onto your child is self confidence so, contrary to a lot of peoples thinking, I believe that if you have a quiet shy child get them amongst other children early on, whether it is at a nursery or playgroup.
So which is best you shout? Am I the right person to judge? Wouldn’t I need to have ten or twenty children to place to know for sure? All I can say is that you should look at yourselves and what fits in with your way of life. Child minders tend to be a bit more flexible on drop off and pick up times than nursery. You should also look at your child and determine what would suit them best. Lastly you should also look honestly at what you think you can give your outside of their normal day to bring out the best in them. Those areas you believe you would struggle in should be met by the choice that you make whether that be socialising, education or simply lots of attention. These three areas will hopefully make a decision easier. Personally I’m just glad both of my daughters are happy, well adjusted children. What more could a parent ask for? :)
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